Cold Emotions
by MoonlightMiko2005
Summary: It's been 5 years since the defeat of Voldermort and the death of many close people to Harry that had turned his heart cold and distant. When he gets his chance to reunite with his friends for their 5 year reunion, he makes a shocking discovery...Chp 3 up
1. Chapter 1 The Letter

Cold Emotions

A.n: I don't own Harry Potter or the song "Cold" (Crossfade owns "Cold" which will have lyrics probably at the end of the story)...I'm not sure yet...I wish I was that creative that I thought of Harry Potter and the song, but unfortuantley I'm not. Even though this story is a future H/Hr story, it's also a Hr/Sn fic...I have been itchin to write something new and I needed to write this story. This song has been stuck in my head for so long that I need to get it out. Now, Harry may seem a litte **OOC**, but duh...with all the things he's been through...I would be too!!! Snape is also a little **OOC**, but I think that he's getting a little soft. I mean it's been 5 years and...this is my fic, so...well, enjoy and please review! Have fun!

Chapter 1- The Letter

The last two years, he had been such a nasty bastard to everybody, especially to Hermione and Ron. The death of Sirius and then the death of Lupin, Mad-eye Moody and Tonks in his sixth year and then Dumbledore when they fought Voldermort. Even though he had defeated the Dark Lord, there still was a bitterness in his heart that made him unable to feel the fear and the tension lift away into the wind. There was no way that he could feel anything after all he had been through. He had disappered after the defeat and didn't show up on graduation. He couldn't face Hogwarts after he failed to protect Dumbledore from that fatal curse that had caught him off guard, but in reality, Dumbledore's safety hadn't been up to him, but his emotions added to his pent up flame and it was killing him inside. He left without saying goodbye and now 5 years later...the owl that he had dreaded to come...came...

"Bloody hell! There is no way I'm going..."

Harry flung the parchement that had just arrived by owl and he looked at it through his round glasses. The nearby fireplace crackled and popped and Harry stared at the inked cursive lettering of Headmistress McGonagall's that was scrawled across the parchment on the floor.

_Dear Mr. Potter...Dear Harry, _

_I am please to invite you to your 5 year class reunion that will be held on July 21st from 5pm till midnight and will take place in the Great Hall. I hope you are able to attend, it would be a pleasure to see you again. Please inform me of your attendance by owl no later than Friday July 16th. Hope to see you there!_

_Headmistress Minerva McGonagall. _

Harry sighed and flopped down into the closest chair to him. He felt a strong headache coming on and he put his fingers to his forehead. They stopped on his lightning bolt scar, the one thing that seperated himself from the rest of the witches and wizards of his time and also the Muggles. He was neither wizard nor muggle. Plus, he hadn't used magic in 5 years. He felt all his abilities fade away when he made his decision not to return to Hogwarts for his graduation. The magic was gone, it had no reason to stay.

Harry sat back and sighed again. He looked once more at the piece of parchment that laid on the floor as innocently as anything. He sighed once more and rose. He slowly walked to the small table that was his kitchen table in his London flat. He picked up a quill and a piece of parchment.

He paused and considered his decision. Somewhere deep inside of him wanted to go to the reunion. His inner child longed to see his old friends and his old teachers, but the adult conscience didn't want to relive the painful memories that would threat to come forth from his memory. The struggle within him was furious and he finally decided.

_Dear Headmisstress McGonagall, _

_I hearby reserve my attendance to the 5 year reunion. Thank you._

_Harry J. Potter_

Harry sealed the letter with his address sticker and walked over to the one and only window in his whole flat. Next to it sat a beautiful gold cage and in it perched the beautiful snowy white owl, Hedwig.

"Take this to the Hogwarts Headmisstress, Hedwig."

Harry opened the cage and Hedwig jumped on his lower arm. He attached the parchment and Hedwig gave a small, very small nip on his finger, but it didn't have its usual affection. Hedwig also lost some of her emotions when her master did.

Harry watched her fly off into the moonlight and he shut one side of the window. He sat down in the chair next to the fireplace and picked up the glass of red wine that he had forgotten about. He swished it around and took a small sip. The thoughts that swam through his mind were in a whirl.

_I wonder how Hermione is?_

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* * *

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Hermione sat in her office on the sixth floor of Hogwarts. She was going through some papers of her fifth year students. She had become the Muggle Studies teacher. She sighed heavily and stuck the end of her feather quill in her mouth. She then put it down and picked up her wand. She motioned to a small radio that sat across from her. The radio turned on and a sound of light symphonic music floated out of the speaker.

"Are you that lazy to reach over your desk and turn the dial on that contraption?"

Hermione looked up and smiled at the black clad figure that was slightly shaded by the shadow of the doorway.

"Well, at least I know how to use this contraption, Professor..."

"How many times must I tell you, **Miss**..._Granger_...that you may call me Severus since we work together..."

Hermione smile widened and she nodded.

"What can I do for you, sir?"

Snape walked forward and he shook his head. He pulled a piece a paper from underneath his robes and handed it to her.

"The Headmisstress asked me to give you this..."

Hermione took the parchement from Snape's hands and smiled again. She opened the seal and unfolded the paper slowly. Snape eyed her curiously and crossed his arms roughly.

Hermione's eyes skimmed the paper and then they widened. Snape gave a small smirk at her the look on her face, but didn't inquire why.

Hermione gave a small squeal of joy and folded the paper back up. She put it in the top drawer of her desk and then looked up at Snape.

"Is there something else?"

Snape gave her a look to say, "You know what else" and rolled his eyes. Hermione looked down and scanned over the papers she was grading.

"Listen, I've got to get back to grading. Thank you for delivering that to me..."

" I want an answer, Hermione."

Hermione looked up into Snape's eyes and sighed with frustration. She saw the hardness in his eyes and she knew he was being very serious.

"I don't know. I'll get back to you..."

"I don't think so. I want an answer **NOW**."

Hermione stood up and gave Snape a deathly glare. Snape then smirked and sat in the chair that was across from her desk.

"I won't leave until I get a yes or a no..."

Hermione walked around the desk and stood in front of the sitting Snape. She put her hands on her hips and sighed.

"You know, for someone who has no consideration for other's feelings, you are as stubborn as a baby..."

Snape grabbed Hermione and pulled her into his lap. She gasped with surprise and smiled when he brought her face to his.

"I have consideration for other people's feelings...just not people that I like..."

"And that's not saying much..."

Snape gave her an evil smirk and kissed her genlty on the lips. She sighed into hsi mouth and they continued to kiss passionatley, until Snape pulled away and looked into Hermione's half closed eyes.

"What did Minerva have to say?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Your nosy too..."

Snape gave a low growl and Hermione's eyes sparkled.

"She wanted to inform me that Harry is going to be attending the 5 year reunion on July 21st. I asked her to tell me if he was going to come or not."

Snape's eyes turned cold and he was silent. Hermione knew that Snape still disliked Harry, but she was so happy that he decided to come to the reunion. Even though he didn't go to graduation, he still was a part of their graduating class and Hermione's heart ached to see him again.

"So, what will it be, Professor Granger?"

Hermione snapped out of her thoughts and stared blanky at Snape.

"What?"

"I said, what will it be? Yes or no..."

Hermione smirked and nodded her head. Snape smiled and Hermione got up from his lap. Snape stood and straightened his robes.

"After your done with your work...meet me in my rooms at 9:30."

Hermione nodded and sat down in her chair. She watched Snape exit her office and she shook her head. She picked up her quill and began to grade again.

A.n: Ah, the sweet smell of Snapey romance...I love it. Now, take my word for it that I am really going to make this into a H/Hr fic, but I needed some sort of conflict to come in and what's better than Harry and Snape conflict? I love writing their fights because there is so much intensity between the two characters and it is so fun to explore. Please review!

Chapter 2- Contacting an old friend


	2. Chpater 2 Contacting an old friend

Chapter 2- Contacting an old friend  
  
A.n: Now...I don't know who the pairing will be in this story. I haven't decided. I think it will be H/Hr, but maybe I'll turn it around a bit...hmmm....I don't know. Enjoy the next chapter and please review!!!  
  
Harry woke up the next morning to his alarm clock blaring this rock like song that echoed through Harry's head.  
  
_Looking back at me_

_ I see that I never really got it right_

_ I never stopped to think of you_

_ I'm always wrapped up in things_

_ that I cannot win..._  
  
Harry hit the snooze button and groaned into his pillow.  
  
"Another day to carry on..."  
  
Harry pulled himself up from his bed and yawned loudly. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the open window. Hedwig still hadn't returned.  
  
"Odd..."  
  
Then, memories flooded in...

* * *

_"Hey, Harry! Harry!"  
  
Harry slowed down his pace and, but still kept walking.  
  
"What is your bloody problem?"  
  
A hand touched his shoulder and he spun around. He came face to face with his bushy hair friend, Hermione and saw the pain in her eyes.  
  
"Nothing..."  
  
"Yeah, well there sure is one when you just storm out of Snape's room like you just did...for no reason! What's been wrong lately?"  
  
Harry shrugged her hand off and he saw the tears in Hermione's eyes.  
  
"It's about Dumbledore isn't it?"  
  
Harry's brow knotted and he looked at Hermione like she had just said something foul.  
  
"You wouldn't understand..."  
  
"Well, I would if you just tell me..."  
  
Harry was silent and Hermione gave him a pleading look. He shook his head and he saw a tear fall slowly down her cheek.  
  
"What happened to you, Harry?"  
  
"Life."  
  
More tears fell on the flushed cheeks of Hermione.  
  
Harry then realized that seeing Hermione cry didn't effect him as he would've thought. He felt nothing. All he felt was a cold deadness that slowly was festering inside of him. He turned and walked slowly away, not noticing the crying girl that stared at his backside. He didn't even notice a few hours later, that Hermione no longer spoke to him. In fact, she no longer spoke to him for the rest of the year.  
  
It was in his seventh year that he lost Hermione Granger as his best friend._

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_

* * *

_

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Harry felt a bitterness pull at him and he scolded himself for being so stupid with Hermione. He had loved her with all his heart and he ruined any chance he had making his life happy and with her. He knew that Lupin and Dumbledore wouldn't have wanted him to harbor their deaths on himself the way he had, but he couldn't help it. Voldermort had come after Hogwarts because of him. Everything in the past happened because of him. So many people that gave their lives to protect his. He hated himself for it and he wished he had never been born.  
  
Harry rose from the bed and looked at his dresser. On it held of picture of Hermione and him, embracing each other as friends do. His smile was beating brillantly and Hermione's eyes sparkled with happiness. The picture reminded him of what life had been like before Voldermort had attacked the castle. Before Dumbledore and so many others lost their lives so he could defeat the evil that threatened to take over all.  
  
Next to the picture was another picture, but this one harbored the smiling faces of Lupin and Sirius. Their faces shined with the glow of life and Harry gave the picture a cold glare. He hated keeping that picture around, but it was the only one he had of Lupin and Sirius together and he needed to see it. The picture kept him sane and stable. It kept him from making himself take all the pain away.  
  
Harry yawned again and walked to him bathroom. A small room that was almost like a closet than a bathroom. He had a skinny shower and the toilet was smooshed against the wall and next to it was the sink with a tiny mirror over it. It could only hold two people at the most and even then there wasn't enough space for someone to move around, without climbing over the other. Harry had alot of experience in that area.  
  
He sloppily brushed his stubborn hair that no matter how much gel or hairspray was slapped onto it, it would never go down. He picked up his perfectly black circular glasses and placed them neatly on his nose. Harry looked at the slightly fading scar that was almost perfectly centered, but a little off to the left. He stared at his reflection bitterly until the sound of crackling and popping jolted him from his daily scolding session. The sound was something he hadn't heard in 5 years and he immediatly knew what it was.  
  
Harry slowly peeked around the corner and looked at his small fireplace. In it was a green floating head and it had a really confused, but familiar look on its face. Well, HER face. Harry reconized the slight bushyness of the lightly wavy hair and the slim look of the face.  
  
"Hermione?"  
  
The head snapped at his voice and then smiled brightly.  
  
"Harry? Oh, thank Merlin! I thought I had gotten the wrong house. May I?"  
  
Harry nodded slighlty and the green fire popped and a very tall Hermione slipped from the ashes. Not a spec of dust was on her and she looked up at Harry with brillant dark brown eyes. Hermione doned robes that resembled a teacher uniform and behold, to the not so surprised Harry, on her chest was the Hogwarts crest.  
  
"Hello, Harry. How have you been?"  
  
Her voice was rich and silky. Harry nodded and he watched as she looked at him throughly.  
  
"You really haven't changed. Still the same disshevled hair, the same glasses, but..."  
  
She walked closer, her boots clunking on the wood floor.  
  
"Your eyes. They're darker...sadder..."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Hermione's eyes flickered with emotion and she smiled at him. The smile was pearly and bright. Harry frowned a little and he knew she was happy all in all.  
  
"I just wanted to see how you were."  
  
"You couldn't have asked me at the reunion?"  
  
Hermione now frowned at his coldness and she got a strange look in her eye.  
  
"I know things really didn't go well between us, but that is the past, Harry. I was so concered about you when I didn't hear from you after graduation. I was worried...alot."  
  
Harry motioned around him and laughed incredulously.  
  
"Well, as you see...I really hadn't lived the way I had planned, but I see you got what you always wanted."  
  
He pointed to the crest on her chest and she looked down. She nodded and looked back into his eyes.  
  
"You might say that, but that still doesn't change the fact that you didn't go to graduation and you didn't say goodbye. How could you not say goodbye? How could you not say goodbye...to me?"  
  
Harry was silent. He really didn't know how to answer that. He wanted to tell her the truth. He wanted to share his pain with her, just like how they had when they were close, but he couldn't.  
  
"I just..."  
  
"No. I don't want to get into it now. We have time to do that later."  
  
There was an awkward silence that spawned and they stood not looking at each other. Harry then looked at Hermione and saw her picking a loose string on her robes.  
  
"So...what subject do you teach?"  
  
"Muggle Studies."  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"How's Ron?"  
  
"He's good. He misses you. He really hasn't been the same since graduation. He's been...different."  
  
Harry nodded again and he felt his heart fall heavy with guilt. He frowned and looked into Hermione's dark brown eyes.  
  
"Are...are you seeing anyone?"  
  
Hermione was silent. She stared at him for a few seconds. She seemed to be choosing her words carefully.  
  
"No. You?"  
  
Harry shook his head and Hermione nodded.  
  
"Well, I better be going. It's almost the end of the year and I need to get my exams prepared."  
  
Harry nodded and Hermione walked to the fireplace. She took out a handful of Floo Powder from a leather holder and she held it out in front of her.  
  
"Oh...by the way. Hedwig is in the Owlery. She needs to rest another night. She's not as young as she used to be, but I'm sure you know that."  
  
Hermione looked over her shoulder and smiled sweetly at Harry who nodded to her. Hermione muttered her destination and threw the powder down. The green flames extended from the fireplace and wrapped around her and she was gone.  
  
Harry stared at the spot she had disappeared from and he sighed.  
  
"This reunion is going to be fun."  
  
A.n: What do ya think? Please review.  
  
Next Chapter: Chapter 3- Train ride 


	3. Chapter 3 Train Ride

Chapter 3- Train ride

A.n: OMG…how long its been since I have updated. I am soooo sorry all. Been so busy with life and everything. Well I am going to keep this short and get onto the story!

Harry walked through the familiar train station in London and cringed. So many memories flooded back to his mind. His first time meeting Ron, Hagrid explaining things to him, taking the flying car with Ron and other memories that almost brought a tear to his eye.

He approached Platform 9 ¾ 's gateway and he held his breath as he walked through the brick pillar. The familiar pull pulled him and he looked around and stared at the black and red train that steamed and sounded to indicate that it was preparing to leave. Harry hesitated and knew it was so simple to just turn around and leave, but he knew that he had to go. He had to face his demons sooner or later.

Harry stepped onto the train and walked through the small corridor to find a compartment that he could be alone. People that he recognized stared at him and he could hear gasps of excitement, but he didn't stop and say hello, he quickened his pace and finally found an empty compartment to duck into. Harry slumped into the soft cushions and sighed wearily.

Hours later:

Harry stared out the window and watched the trees go back slowly. The time seemed to drag to Harry, but surprisingly no one ever knocked on his door, but he noticed people walk by very quickly. Harry didn't bring anything with him because he didn't plan on staying at Hogwarts like it was required. He dreaded to see Ron. He knew that Ron would say some bitter things to him, but he really didn't care as much. He just wanted to make an appearance and leave. He didn't want any drama.

Harry turned suddenly as the door to his compartment opened and in came a platinum blonde, tall and dressed handsomely. He held a scowl that was so familiar to Harry and Harry stood and readied himself to fight.

"Well well well, if it isn't Potter! How have you been?"

Harry blinked in surprise. Did Draco Malfoy just ask him how he has been?

Draco looked at him for an answer, but then a long arm appeared from behind him and then a head of red hair. Ginny Weasly poked out from behind Draco and smiled at Harry widely.

"Hello Harry. It's very nice to see you again. Draco…we should be getting back to our seats. We are going to be arriving soon." Ginny gave Draco a suggestive look and Draco's eyes sparkled heinously. He turned back to Harry and smiled at him.

"Well we can talk once we reach the castle. Now if you would excuse me…"

Draco departed and followed Ginny down the hall.

Harry was speechless.

* * *

Harry walked off the train a couple of hours later and boarded the carriages drawn by the black, red eyed, winged Thestrals. He had looked at them and remembered that only people that have seen and accepted death were able to see them. He knew that he had accepted many deaths, but the only one he could never accept was Dumbledore's. Hogwarts would never be the same since the Headmaster was no more. He wasn't there to make Harry's life easier and he wasn't there to tell Harry that everything would be okay. He wasn't there to make Hogwarts home anymore. These reasons were few of the many why he wished to not return to Hogwarts, but he knew that he had to. It was his duty to return to Hogwarts and remember to the good times he had experienced and just maybe…it would thaw out his heart…just a little.

The carriages pulled up the to the steps of Hogwarts and all the former students piled out of the carriages. Harry looked up at the dimly light castle and sighed. Even though he never got tired of seeing the castle, he wasn't looking forward to seeing the people inside. He knew questions would be asked and he knew he wasn't inclined to answer them, he felt he needed to answer some questions of people that had been close to him. Harry moved forward and entered the gigantic doors and a flash came of when he first walk through these same doors. The castle had seemed bigger, more inviting, more warm. Maybe it was because Dumbledore's presence and rule over it had made it so, maybe it was just that he had never felt so accepted before. He was like everyone else, except for the scar that was on his forehead.

He walked through the doors and looked around. Nothing had changed. The Entrance hall still had its glow, the house hourglasses still sat next to the door and were still filled with the sparkling rubies. He looked at Gryffindor's and a frown came to his face. He felt a pang in his heart and he wished that was coming back to school for a whole year and not just a few hours. The people that jostled around him looked at him out of the corner of their eyes and he felt ashamed. He never graduated with these people and he knew he shouldn't be there.

They all entered the Great Hall and Minerva McGonagall stood at the owl podium with a smile on her face. Harry skimmed the crowd and spotted a tall, gangly man sitting near the head on the Gryffindor table. The red hair that seemed to be on fire made Harry know it was Ron. Harry gulped and made his way over to him. Next to Ron was still a woman with blonde hair and she was very pretty. He smile was bright and she donned a beautiful ring on her left ring finger.

Harry sat down across from him and looked at him. Ron stared back until a wide grin broke out on his face.

"Harry? Is that you?"

"Yeah…"

Ron's smile got a little smaller at Harry's coldness. He wanted to hug him, but they haven't spoken in 5 years.

"How have you been?"

"I've been surviving. You?"

Ron motioned to his side and smiled.

"This is my finance, Heather. Heather…this is Harry Potter."

Heather smiled and Harry nodded towards her.

"Harry Potter…well…it is wonderful to finally have met you. Ron has told me all about you."

"Charming…" Harry turned away and Ron gave him a scowl.

"Listen, you didn't need to come here. If you are going to act like this, why did you even bother showing your face?"

Harry gave him an angry glare.

"Shove it. You don't know what I have been through…"

"Bloody hell mate, just come off it and be civil…be happy you were even invited…"

Harry continued to glare, until Minerva cleared her throat and began:

"Welcome back! I have so excited to see all of your glowing faces here tonight. It gives me great joy to see all of my former students happy and well. Now, our feast will begin shortly and in the meantime, if you would like to congregate with your peers, then gladly do so. That is all…"

Harry looked up at the staff table to see Hermione seated at Minerva's right and Snape was seated next to Hermione. He watched them closely because Hermione showed no discomfort being next to Snape. He still held his malicious, vile, cold stare, but it seemed a little softer then Harry remembered. Snape's eyes caught his and a cold sneer crossed his lips. Snape leaned close to Hermione and whispered something in her ear and Hermione turned scarlet and smiled slightly. She didn't seem to notice Harry watching and then underneath the table, Harry saw her grab Snape's hand.

It was then Harry's stomach turned and he was truly speechless…

A.n: Well well well...now things are getting interesting..let's see how Harry's going to deal with this.

Chapter 4: It's been 5 years...


End file.
